As I wait to see my psychiatrist, I look around the room in the lobby
and wonder about my peers waiting too. I wonder if they even realize that
they have a treatment choice. There comes a time when, you either accept
that you are mentally ill or forever be in denial.
I became disabled early in my adult life. I actually was committed one
month after my 21st birthday. The early hospitalization was a nightmare,
but I wonder if the treatment I received at an early stage of my diagnosis
helped me to grudgingly admit later that I have a disability.
This early intervention also most likely kept the disorder from progressing
further. I stayed lucid, even when in denial. But, I am accepting of my
diagnosis of the disorder. Even though I am in agreement about my illness,
some things just "are". I cannot prove it, but it is stuck and not going anywhere,
thus the symptom is still active.
With this background, being in agreement is only part of becoming active
in your treatment. I would go to group meetings after group meetings, trying
to learn how I can convince the "powers that be" that I am normal. I dont have
a "crazy" problem and that I can take care of myself. I dont want that medicine,
it's doesnt work for me. I can tell that to my doctor and my doctor will listen,
but this only came about because I could "explain" further as to why as well
as to what would be a good substitute.
The ability to say, "no" is a valuable commodity. It is freeing when you
become part of the decisions made in your treatment. But, my peers are
getting "stuck". They are stuck within their own delusions. As much as you
want to hand them the answers, they must live it to get it. To get the freedom
to direct your own treatment. I just hope that one day, the experience of what
I have been through can help someone else navigate the processes of what
it takes to have one foot in reality and one foot in imagination and still
function in the real world.
Surviving mental illness from the inside out
Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health
and wonder about my peers waiting too. I wonder if they even realize that
they have a treatment choice. There comes a time when, you either accept
that you are mentally ill or forever be in denial.
I became disabled early in my adult life. I actually was committed one
month after my 21st birthday. The early hospitalization was a nightmare,
but I wonder if the treatment I received at an early stage of my diagnosis
helped me to grudgingly admit later that I have a disability.
This early intervention also most likely kept the disorder from progressing
further. I stayed lucid, even when in denial. But, I am accepting of my
diagnosis of the disorder. Even though I am in agreement about my illness,
some things just "are". I cannot prove it, but it is stuck and not going anywhere,
thus the symptom is still active.
With this background, being in agreement is only part of becoming active
in your treatment. I would go to group meetings after group meetings, trying
to learn how I can convince the "powers that be" that I am normal. I dont have
a "crazy" problem and that I can take care of myself. I dont want that medicine,
it's doesnt work for me. I can tell that to my doctor and my doctor will listen,
but this only came about because I could "explain" further as to why as well
as to what would be a good substitute.
The ability to say, "no" is a valuable commodity. It is freeing when you
become part of the decisions made in your treatment. But, my peers are
getting "stuck". They are stuck within their own delusions. As much as you
want to hand them the answers, they must live it to get it. To get the freedom
to direct your own treatment. I just hope that one day, the experience of what
I have been through can help someone else navigate the processes of what
it takes to have one foot in reality and one foot in imagination and still
function in the real world.
Surviving mental illness from the inside out
Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health