I Have Strengthened My Boundaries

 I have strengthened my boundaries by the way of education. Education has helped me in many ways. It keeps me focused and on topic. It allows me better jobs with better pay. I have made many acquaintances and a few friends, through the way of study. They were tutors, they were co-workers, and eventually my family came around as well.

I have learned and am still learning emotional intelligence. I agree with the experts that the better you are at emotional intelligence "trumps" IQ. It has been such a benefit, that I am able to recognize when I am being emotionally abused. 

My mother used to emotionally abuse me. My father "physically" abused me. I found that the greater pain came from emotional abuse. Not to say that my father is a saint, but the pain from emotional abuse doesn't leave any visible bruising. But has the capacity to leave lasting nightmares. They can be day nightmares or night nightmares, but the abuse follows you until you strengthen your boundaries.

Some may brush it off and say that it sounds more like maturity, but it is not. Emotional abuse can keep you from maturing and strengthening your boundaries. I have love/hate memories where I don't know whether to yell at the top of my lungs, "GET OUT!" or to whisper, "I'm glad I still remember your loving ways". That is something to talk about in depth maybe in a later article. That something is that you cannot set boundaries with, someone who has died and left unexpectedly. The only way to try, is try to imagine setting those boundaries, but that could just create memories to come to the top when you have tried to bury it real deep. 

And well, no wonder I wish she were alive. It is not to see her, but to set those boundaries that I should have had when she was alive putting her in her place in my life where I want to place her not where she wants to be.

So, that is the missing puzzle piece to a giant puzzle of where, what, when, how could I use boundaries now than those that I should have used then. I wish she were alive to see me now. 

I have grown and established boundaries that she would have a hard time accepting. She would probably use the silent treatment where she just didn't discuss anything. But that never made it go away. Not only would she give the silent treatment, but she would withdraw her love until I kowtowed. I was weak. I was dependent. I was isolated. I was even left out of family gatherings, being forced to be around my younger cousins and sitting at the kiddy table. Left out of adult conversation and bonding.

So, a little difficult to stay on topic, but I was able to bring it around back to boundaries a couple of times. It is getting better with time and I have high hopes that even going for my master's now will give me better ideas on how to lean towards, "I'm glad I still remember your loving ways" instead of "GET OUT!" (bully)

Please remember my side bar and my page Vocabulary ABC's. They are a great encyclopedic way to tackle mental health stigma. 

A Step by Step Approach to Breaking Down Stress, by guest author Sean Morris

 

Breaking Down Stress: A Step-by-Step Approach to Managing Life's Challenges

While stress is constant, grasping its nature and mastering management techniques can significantly improve the quality of life. This guide offers actionable insights into pinpointing stress triggers, deploying effective coping strategies, and cultivating a nurturing support system. By dissecting complex tasks, establishing clear boundaries, and indulging in personal passions, you can pave the way for a balanced and richly rewarding life. Check it with Auntie Steph shares more insights:

Unveiling the Roots of Stress

Recognizing the root causes of stress is pivotal. Everyday stressors include job insecurity, relationship dynamics, financial pressures, and health concerns. Critically assessing these factors is essential to determining which triggers your stress responses. This awareness is the first step toward managing stress effectively. Once identified, these causes can be addressed or reframed into a more manageable and less threatening context.

Harness Your Control

Focus on elements of your life that are within your control, and release concerns over those that are not. This mindset shift is vital in reducing feelings of helplessness and anxiety. Concentrating on actionable aspects of your life, such as your reaction to stressors or your daily routine, creates a sense of personal efficacy and resilience. This approach alleviates stress and empowers you to make meaningful changes.

Consider a Career Shift

If your job is the primary culprit behind your stress, a career change might be the relief you need for improved mental health and well-being. Online degree programs offer the flexibility to pursue further education without sacrificing your current job or family time (take a look at this). By enrolling in a family nurse practitioner master's degree program, you can immerse yourself in a hands-on role in healthcare, diagnosing and treating patients, which can lead to both a rewarding career and personal fulfillment. And last but not least, a nursing degree helps ensure that you’ll have a life-long career in the healthcare industry.

Building Your Support System

Surround yourself with a robust network of friends, family, and support groups to anchor you during turbulent times. Opening up about your stressors with trusted individuals alleviates emotional pressure and brings fresh perspectives to your challenges. This vital emotional support reassures you during difficulties and strengthens your capacity to manage stress effectively, enhancing your resilience.

Simplify Task Management

To tackle daunting tasks effectively, break them into smaller, more manageable segments. This strategy clears your mind by setting clear, achievable objectives and helps you discern which tasks require immediate attention and which can be deferred. As you prioritize and conquer each step, you’ll notice an increase in your time management skills and a decrease in stress, giving you greater control over your workload.

Setting Boundaries

Mastering the art of setting boundaries and comfortably saying no is essential for avoiding the pitfalls of overcommitment and the stress accompanying it. Recognizing and communicating your limits ensures you don’t take on more than you can manage, safeguarding your mental and physical well-being. This strategic approach also enhances how you allocate your time and resources, optimizing your overall effectiveness and reducing the risk of burnout.

Recharge with Hobbies

Delving into hobbies that resonate with your passions, like reading, gardening, or painting, can be a powerful antidote to stress. These activities pull you away from the monotony of daily routines, offering a therapeutic escape that rejuvenates your spirit. As you engage in these pursuits, you find relaxation and joy and foster creativity and mental agility, enhancing your overall satisfaction with life. Each moment spent in the pleasure of your hobbies builds a buffer against the pressures of everyday life, fortifying your emotional resilience.

Managing life's stressors involves a combination of self-awareness, proactive management strategies, and personal support systems. By identifying what causes stress, controlling what you can, and nurturing relationships and personal interests, you equip yourself with the tools to navigate life’s challenges more effectively. Remember, the goal is not to eliminate stress but to manage it to allow you to live a healthier, more balanced life.

My Vocabulary ABC's

 

I Have Strengthened My Boundaries

 I have strengthened my boundaries by the way of education. Education has helped me in many ways. It keeps me focused and on topic. It allows me better jobs with better pay. I have made many acquaintances and a few friends, through the way of study. They were tutors, they were co-workers, and eventually my family came around as well.

I have learned and am still learning emotional intelligence. I agree with the experts that the better you are at emotional intelligence "trumps" IQ. It has been such a benefit, that I am able to recognize when I am being emotionally abused. 

My mother used to emotionally abuse me. My father "physically" abused me. I found that the greater pain came from emotional abuse. Not to say that my father is a saint, but the pain from emotional abuse doesn't leave any visible bruising. But has the capacity to leave lasting nightmares. They can be day nightmares or night nightmares, but the abuse follows you until you strengthen your boundaries.

Some may brush it off and say that it sounds more like maturity, but it is not. Emotional abuse can keep you from maturing and strengthening your boundaries. I have love/hate memories where I don't know whether to yell at the top of my lungs, "GET OUT!" or to whisper, "I'm glad I still remember your loving ways". That is something to talk about in depth maybe in a later article. That something is that you cannot set boundaries with, someone who has died and left unexpectedly. The only way to try, is try to imagine setting those boundaries, but that could just create memories to come to the top when you have tried to bury it real deep. 

And well, no wonder I wish she were alive. It is not to see her, but to set those boundaries that I should have had when she was alive putting her in her place in my life where I want to place her not where she wants to be.

So, that is the missing puzzle piece to a giant puzzle of where, what, when, how could I use boundaries now than those that I should have used then. I wish she were alive to see me now. 

I have grown and established boundaries that she would have a hard time accepting. She would probably use the silent treatment where she just didn't discuss anything. But that never made it go away. Not only would she give the silent treatment, but she would withdraw her love until I kowtowed. I was weak. I was dependent. I was isolated. I was even left out of family gatherings, being forced to be around my younger cousins and sitting at the kiddy table. Left out of adult conversation and bonding.

So, a little difficult to stay on topic, but I was able to bring it around back to boundaries a couple of times. It is getting better with time and I have high hopes that even going for my master's now will give me better ideas on how to lean towards, "I'm glad I still remember your loving ways" instead of "GET OUT!" (bully)

Please remember my side bar and my page Vocabulary ABC's. They are a great encyclopedic way to tackle mental health stigma.