Tuesday, September 3, 2024

What ECT Did For Me

Yes, I have had ECT. This is a bit wonky for me because at first I was afraid. Afraid that it would hurt. Afraid that I would be exploited for research purposes. Afraid that I would be judged if anyone found out. 

But it wasn't so. It actually helped me. But for the first time that I had it, the doctors and employees of the hospital kept it from me. I only remembered it after a while. It wipes your memory. It takes away the voices. I finally knew what my own voice sounded like. I had silence within silence. It also took away my nervous tick in my left eye. 

People would make my nervous tick come out more. They would wink at me before I could bring about eye-contact. It was bad. It was annoying. It was exploited by those that wanted me to keep it. I finally overlooked the winks and the eye-rubs. It was empowering that I did not have this annoyance anymore. I was finally free from something that I had been a victim of. It is still gone. And I am happy. 

Later on, when in the hospital, I was asked if I wanted it, and I agreed. They hooked me up to various machines and then put me under before they used it on me. It was painless and a God send. I would highly recommend it, actually. 

So, don't be afraid. Don't be scared. It can actually help you. But you don't need it a lot. For me it was only one at a time. Others get a slew of them. They get it one right after another. I think that that is too much. But one or two is good. You might be pleasantly surprised on how good it works. 


Vocabulary ABC's