"Conservatorship?" Why? Why would you do that to me? I have shown
responsibility. I have shown good behavior. I have shown that I can budget
well. What made you do that? Why?
Conservatorship is not easy to go through. It is when you feel like all
control of your life has been taken away from you. Many, when on conservatorship
for the first time, feel like they will be on it for the rest of their lives. But,
conservatorship lasts about six to twelve months and then goes into review to
see if you still need to be on it.
Good luck explaining to a payee how you want your money spent. Some
people on conservatorship never get a chance to come off of it. But, in many
cases, it is just a temporary thing to go through. It just doesnt seem like it is
ever going to happen, when it is you that is on conservatorship.
I dont know how many times I have been under conservatorship. Maybe,
about five times or so, but I havent been counting. It took quite a while the
first time to gain my independence back. It takes a while, and well, the courts
assign a lawyer to your case, so that you have a fair voice in the process.
After a while, you learn to work on recovery. Demonstrating lucidity is
usually a good start in the process. Can you stay on topic? Or, do you go off
on tangents easily? Are you capable of holding a basic conversation, or do
your symptoms bother you too much to do so? Do you have a home to go to?
Or are you basically out on the street if you get released? Have you shown
that you can handle the responsibility of caring for yourself? Or have you
just let yourself go and dont care anymore?
It is hard to pinpoint exactly why you might be on conservatorship. Especially
if you have led an independent life. I would just like you to know that it is
not the end of the world to be on conservatorship. It can feel like it though.
It just means that recovery might take a little longer than one would feel
comfortable with.
Eventually, conservatorship ends. Eventually, life will feel like it is
beginning again. Just hang in there. Work on your recovery. Work with
your mental health team. Talk things over with your doctor. Learn what your
symptoms are. Learn when they might get out of control. Learn how you
gained control to accomplish your goals. Remember that you are the best
advocate for your recovery and freedoms. You know yourself best.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Catch 22
We'll have to wait and see if I get better. That is told to me a lot.
There are so many things I would like to accomplish, but it will only
happen , " When I get better ".
But, will I get better? There is no cure for mental illness and it seems
that the longer I am "sick" the more diagnoses I have. So, how can I
go forward, if I have to wait until I get better? What if I am never
better? How can I be active and productive and still work on my
recovery?
But, there is a chance at recovery, just not a cure. Well, not a cure
at this time in human history. There are so many mentally ill people
that feel unfulfilled in their life. I know this because I have talked to
many of them.
I try to explain that there are other options in their life other than
the usual- get a family, get a career, have a retirement, own a home,
have a pet, etc. etc.
But, they just wont listen to me. And, I can understand why. It
feels like a hole in your life. A hole that is waiting to be filled and
completed. So, that life is complete and the expectations sown as
children come to fruition.
But, when you are disabled, all of a sudden your life is put on hold.
You no longer qualify for many of your dreams. And it gets really
depressing. Your life stagnates. It becomes routine in a rudimentary
way and you feel held back from succeeding in your life's dreams
and ambitions.
You see, just because a mentally ill person's life seems set or simple
because most are well cared for, the grass looks greener on the
other side. The mentally ill dont see the safety of their life. And,
from experience, I have seen that some successful people dont see
the need for disabled people to have social security.
It sort of seems like some sort of catch 22. And, I have learned
to view my accomplishments differently than when I was a child
dreaming of what life would be when I grew up.
With my peers, I sit down with them one on one and we go over
the quality of care and quality of life that we have. I actually list
everything for them. From neighborhood, to meals, to transportation,
to medical. Etc. Everything benefits provides for us. And then I
explain that when you have a job certain "benefits" are no longer
provided and need to be paid for out of your own pocket.
So, even though a job sounds like a better idea than being on
social security, most of the time (for the mentally ill) having a
minimum wage job doesnt do much. It just gets taken out somewhere
from your benefits.
I now view my accomplishments according to my debt to income
ratio, instead of my credit line and history and adult toys and
stuff. It took me a long time to realize that I was in a good spot.
You see, there is a program called, "Ticket to Work Program".
I was in it. I was successful. I worked my way out of the
social security system. I had a good job. I had nice toys. I thought
I was set. I was in a union job. I thought they had my back.
My counselors were proud of me. They told me not to tell my
employer about my disability. They suggested to go soley on
my accomplishments and ability to handle the job. They also said,
that for my area, I was the first one in the program to succeed
at getting off of social security. But, when my mother passed away,
I had a little backslide. And, well, to make a long story short- I
lost my job.
It took me a year and a lawyer to get my benefits back. That
was when I changed my perception of my own success. Been there,
done that so to speak. So, when I sit down with a peer, I can
honestly say that I understand how they are feeling and what they
are going through (for the most part). They feel unfulfilled. They
feel like their life isnt worth anything, mostly because they feel
unsuccessful in accomplishing their dreams. Whatever those
dreams may be.
So, I hope, that if you know someone who might be feeling
unsuccessful and under-accomplished, maybe you could sit
down with them. Grab a piece of paper. Write down what they
have going for them. And, explain. Explain what kind of salary
they would need to keep up the same life that they now have.
Put it in black and white. Help them learn their worth. Not
their unworthiness. Help them settle their restlessness.
And, if they need reminding, please be gentle. It is hard to
walk in your shoes. Because ours have weights on them and
we cant go as far.
http://www.mentalhealth.gov/
http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/crisis-text-line
There are so many things I would like to accomplish, but it will only
happen , " When I get better ".
But, will I get better? There is no cure for mental illness and it seems
that the longer I am "sick" the more diagnoses I have. So, how can I
go forward, if I have to wait until I get better? What if I am never
better? How can I be active and productive and still work on my
recovery?
But, there is a chance at recovery, just not a cure. Well, not a cure
at this time in human history. There are so many mentally ill people
that feel unfulfilled in their life. I know this because I have talked to
many of them.
I try to explain that there are other options in their life other than
the usual- get a family, get a career, have a retirement, own a home,
have a pet, etc. etc.
But, they just wont listen to me. And, I can understand why. It
feels like a hole in your life. A hole that is waiting to be filled and
completed. So, that life is complete and the expectations sown as
children come to fruition.
But, when you are disabled, all of a sudden your life is put on hold.
You no longer qualify for many of your dreams. And it gets really
depressing. Your life stagnates. It becomes routine in a rudimentary
way and you feel held back from succeeding in your life's dreams
and ambitions.
You see, just because a mentally ill person's life seems set or simple
because most are well cared for, the grass looks greener on the
other side. The mentally ill dont see the safety of their life. And,
from experience, I have seen that some successful people dont see
the need for disabled people to have social security.
It sort of seems like some sort of catch 22. And, I have learned
to view my accomplishments differently than when I was a child
dreaming of what life would be when I grew up.
With my peers, I sit down with them one on one and we go over
the quality of care and quality of life that we have. I actually list
everything for them. From neighborhood, to meals, to transportation,
to medical. Etc. Everything benefits provides for us. And then I
explain that when you have a job certain "benefits" are no longer
provided and need to be paid for out of your own pocket.
So, even though a job sounds like a better idea than being on
social security, most of the time (for the mentally ill) having a
minimum wage job doesnt do much. It just gets taken out somewhere
from your benefits.
I now view my accomplishments according to my debt to income
ratio, instead of my credit line and history and adult toys and
stuff. It took me a long time to realize that I was in a good spot.
You see, there is a program called, "Ticket to Work Program".
I was in it. I was successful. I worked my way out of the
social security system. I had a good job. I had nice toys. I thought
I was set. I was in a union job. I thought they had my back.
My counselors were proud of me. They told me not to tell my
employer about my disability. They suggested to go soley on
my accomplishments and ability to handle the job. They also said,
that for my area, I was the first one in the program to succeed
at getting off of social security. But, when my mother passed away,
I had a little backslide. And, well, to make a long story short- I
lost my job.
It took me a year and a lawyer to get my benefits back. That
was when I changed my perception of my own success. Been there,
done that so to speak. So, when I sit down with a peer, I can
honestly say that I understand how they are feeling and what they
are going through (for the most part). They feel unfulfilled. They
feel like their life isnt worth anything, mostly because they feel
unsuccessful in accomplishing their dreams. Whatever those
dreams may be.
So, I hope, that if you know someone who might be feeling
unsuccessful and under-accomplished, maybe you could sit
down with them. Grab a piece of paper. Write down what they
have going for them. And, explain. Explain what kind of salary
they would need to keep up the same life that they now have.
Put it in black and white. Help them learn their worth. Not
their unworthiness. Help them settle their restlessness.
And, if they need reminding, please be gentle. It is hard to
walk in your shoes. Because ours have weights on them and
we cant go as far.
http://www.mentalhealth.gov/
http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/crisis-text-line
Obama Presses for Mental-Health Care for Students, Cutting Its Stigma
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