There are so many things I would like to accomplish, but it will only
happen , " When I get better ".
But, will I get better? There is no cure for mental illness and it seems
that the longer I am "sick" the more diagnoses I have. So, how can I
go forward, if I have to wait until I get better? What if I am never
better? How can I be active and productive and still work on my
recovery?
But, there is a chance at recovery, just not a cure. Well, not a cure
at this time in human history. There are so many mentally ill people
that feel unfulfilled in their life. I know this because I have talked to
many of them.
I try to explain that there are other options in their life other than
the usual- get a family, get a career, have a retirement, own a home,
have a pet, etc. etc.
But, they just wont listen to me. And, I can understand why. It
feels like a hole in your life. A hole that is waiting to be filled and
completed. So, that life is complete and the expectations sown as
children come to fruition.
But, when you are disabled, all of a sudden your life is put on hold.
You no longer qualify for many of your dreams. And it gets really
depressing. Your life stagnates. It becomes routine in a rudimentary
way and you feel held back from succeeding in your life's dreams
and ambitions.
You see, just because a mentally ill person's life seems set or simple
because most are well cared for, the grass looks greener on the
other side. The mentally ill dont see the safety of their life. And,
from experience, I have seen that some successful people dont see
the need for disabled people to have social security.
It sort of seems like some sort of catch 22. And, I have learned
to view my accomplishments differently than when I was a child
dreaming of what life would be when I grew up.
With my peers, I sit down with them one on one and we go over
the quality of care and quality of life that we have. I actually list
everything for them. From neighborhood, to meals, to transportation,
to medical. Etc. Everything benefits provides for us. And then I
explain that when you have a job certain "benefits" are no longer
provided and need to be paid for out of your own pocket.
So, even though a job sounds like a better idea than being on
social security, most of the time (for the mentally ill) having a
minimum wage job doesnt do much. It just gets taken out somewhere
from your benefits.
I now view my accomplishments according to my debt to income
ratio, instead of my credit line and history and adult toys and
stuff. It took me a long time to realize that I was in a good spot.
You see, there is a program called, "Ticket to Work Program".
I was in it. I was successful. I worked my way out of the
social security system. I had a good job. I had nice toys. I thought
I was set. I was in a union job. I thought they had my back.
My counselors were proud of me. They told me not to tell my
employer about my disability. They suggested to go soley on
my accomplishments and ability to handle the job. They also said,
that for my area, I was the first one in the program to succeed
at getting off of social security. But, when my mother passed away,
I had a little backslide. And, well, to make a long story short- I
lost my job.
It took me a year and a lawyer to get my benefits back. That
was when I changed my perception of my own success. Been there,
done that so to speak. So, when I sit down with a peer, I can
honestly say that I understand how they are feeling and what they
are going through (for the most part). They feel unfulfilled. They
feel like their life isnt worth anything, mostly because they feel
unsuccessful in accomplishing their dreams. Whatever those
dreams may be.
So, I hope, that if you know someone who might be feeling
unsuccessful and under-accomplished, maybe you could sit
down with them. Grab a piece of paper. Write down what they
have going for them. And, explain. Explain what kind of salary
they would need to keep up the same life that they now have.
Put it in black and white. Help them learn their worth. Not
their unworthiness. Help them settle their restlessness.
And, if they need reminding, please be gentle. It is hard to
walk in your shoes. Because ours have weights on them and
we cant go as far.
http://www.mentalhealth.gov/
http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/crisis-text-line