How I Learned to Grow Where I am Planted

  I have always wanted to be educated. But I became educated in another fashion. I had to make a foundation before I could build. I had to start somewhere, so I started with High School Night School. My mother had agreed to babysit, but only if I was doing something productive. So, I took sign-language classes. Then I found out about ROP in San Diego. It was free trade-school. It sounded great, so I signed up for Cosmetology classes. It took a year on the waiting list, but I finally made it, and yes, my mother agreed to babysit again for this endeavor. It took a year and a half, but I made it. I am still a cosmetologist. I kept my license. But then I came down with carpal-tunnel.

 I flitted from one job to another, never staying very long. When my employers found out I was disabled, I was always asked to resign. I did not know my rights. So, I would resign, thinking that it was better than being fired. Then, I found out about apprenticeships and applied to become a trolley mechanic. They put me through classes at the local community college and I got a certificate. I am also an Electro-mechanic Journeyman-Lineman. It took five years, but even they pushed me out when finding out I have a disability. I was served with psych eval papers and was so insulted that I just said, that's it, I quit. After five good years of service.

 So, back on Social Security I went. I promised my family that I would stay on it this time. Well, I guess I was wrong. I found my calling. My calling as a Peer Support Counselor. I was still in school when I got the job. My current employer has always worked with me to get to the next level. So now, I not only have an associate's degree but now I also have a Bachelor's degree with a minor. But I didn't stop there. Now, I am in master's classes. To get a certificate. That always seems to be the starting point for me. 

 So, where I am at now, I am off of Social Security. I have a full-time job and I have personal transportation to get to and from work. I see a psychiatrist regularly. I take medicine regularly. And I am still in school, still learning to grow where I am planted. Thank you for your continued support of my blog. Here, I try to do my part to stop the stigma. Stigma is the tipping point for most of the mentally ill. It hurts. 

Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health Circles

 Social Security PASS Program Info   PASS Application

 

How I finally got a new car...

 Well, I went without a car for eight years. I had a decent car when I was a mechanic for San Diego Trolley, Inc. Then, I lost my mom, then my job, then my home, then my vehicle in 2010. And then soon found myself homeless without insurance for my medicine. I had to finally wean myself off of my medicine, because I could not afford it anymore. So, soon I hit rock bottom. I was homeless for about one year, before the system picked me up again. My sister told me to get a lawyer for my Social Security payments to pick up again, so I did. It was only after I was in the local jail for four months for a broken trolley window that I did not break, but what I did, made the broken window worse. So, I had to plead guilty to vandalism, which was then reduced to disturbing the peace. You would think that vandalism would be after disturbing the peace, not the other way around. 

 Well, while I was in the local jail, the social worker refused to let me go back out to the streets. So, I was placed in a program for the mentally ill, where they help you co-ordinate your services. And it was then, when I was released, that my sister told me to get a lawyer to be put back on the SSDI benefits. (Social Security Disability Insurance) not SSI (Supplemental Security Income). There is a big difference. You see, I was trying the Ticket to Work Program for the first time, when I started working for the trolley. I thought it was a forever job, but I was wrong. When they found out that I was disabled, they started the process to lay me off without any benefits. But, what happened was that I was homeless, but on the SDI (State Disability Benefits) which I had to let run out before I could apply for SSDI again. So, you see, I needed a lawyer. 

 Well, I started to go back to school two years after my mother passed away. It took that long to pay my debts and be eligible for the Pell Grant again. I went to college part-time and it took five years to achieve my Associate's Degree in Psychology. Then I applied for SDSU (San Diego State University). It took two times, before they accepted me. I found out about a new program through Social Security called the PASS Program. They are a part of Social Security that gives out grants to those trying to become independent from Social Security. I found out about them through Goodwill. They were the ones helping me become an employee again. I applied to my current employer and they hired me. 

 Well, I was on public transportation to my place of employment for over two years. My employer worked with me to account for the time that it took to get there...three hours to get there, two and a half to get home...and then I got a call...this call changed my life.

 This call was Social Security. They were giving me money to buy a car. I had finally gotten my credit score under control and was also eligible for a car loan from my bank. So, with the money that Social Security gave me and the loan from the bank, I was able to get a newer used car. It changed my life. I was able to get to school in a timely manner and was also now able to take on a regular shift with my employer. I used the grant money that was left over from my University grant and any extra money left over from my earnings to pay it off in two and a half years. It was a 2018 vehicle that I purchased in 2019 from a rental car company. It had all the features my family wanted me to have, without the sticker shock of a new car. 

 The first thing that I had to make sure of, was to become out of debt and raise my credit score. I had left the school loan, that I took out when I was younger, for the last bill to pay, because I thought I wouldn't be able to pay it off for quite a bit longer than I did. A backpay from Social Security, that was a surprise, enabled me to finally pay off my student loan. This is when I started to go back to school again, because I was eligible for grant money again. I saved the extra money left over, because for my Associate's degree I went to the local community college and the fees were less than that of the amount of my grant money. I was saving for the University costs. But, what I didn't know was that I would also go to the University on a grant, so it was free too...I used any and all left over money from my employer, grant money, and Social Security to pay off my car in a timely manner. It still boggles my mind how when my mother (who was my trigger to my suicidal ideations) died, things started to finally fall into place for me. And well, she always told me she wasn't leaving me a penny and well, she didn't leave me a darned thing but bad memories. 

 I did it all on my own. Through the good character that I have despite my mother and her family. They didn't leave me a thing, but bad memories and wasted tears. So, I did it. I did it on my own character without any handouts from my mother or her family. In fact, they always tried to take everything from me when they were alive. And they succeeded. That is why, now that they are dead, I finally have a life to be proud of.

Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health Circles

The Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law

Board of Behavioral Sciences   (Candidate Handbook)

RADT-I Registered Alcohol and Drug Technician

Social Security PASS Program

PASS Information Page