Stay Strong

 Stay strong. Don't let people push you around just to be the good guy. Even if they have authority. Don't. It can be very challenging to lead with authority when you have a mental disability. Any disability really. Leading can seem like you are bossing people around. 

But, that is not the case. You stand up for yourself. Do it even if you want to just follow to play it safe. People pick up on stuff like that. 

I'm not good at leading. When I was younger, I led with firmness. Then I changed cultures and it was frowned upon to be a firm leader. So, I demured. This was misread from my family. They couldn't understand why I acted the way I did. 

I lived in Hawaii for five years. I assimilated the culture. It is collectivistic. My family is individualistic. Imagine trying to bring the family together when the family keeps you at a distance. They isolate you. You have nothing to contribute and you can only clean and babysit. You become the punching bag. The one that everyone picks on. 

Humble, trust-worthy, genuine, honorable

I have been all of these things, but my family still emotionally abused me. They stopped doing that for the most part. Sometimes, I feel like the family has gone back to its old ways. Lies being told about me to other family members.

So, where is this coming from. I am in a master's program. I stood my ground and refused to be relegated to the end. No one wanted to partner with me. The instructor refuted my activity. And all looked bleak.

But, the next day, the instructor did a similar activity that I had planned. She spoke about emotional intelligence. If you know about me and emotional intelligence, you will find that I highly recommend learning as many emotions as you can.

So, I stood my ground. I'm going next I said. They figured out who would go with me. There is still conflict, but I am proud of myself for staying strong. 

Vocabulary ABC's

My Miracle Medicine

After 35 years of being in the mental health system, I have been given many medicines trying to keep me sane. The first one was Haldol. It was given at too high a dose. I later started taking it again without the side-effects I had at the start. I was given Trazadone and that made me too groggy. All I could do was sleep. I needed a better medicine. One without side-effects.

I was given new medicines as they hit the market and sometimes before they hit the market. This is like Wellbutrin, Clozaril, Geodon, Zyprexa and finally landed on Seroquel. Seroquel is my miracle medicine. It has very low side-effects. 

Many clients don't want to take their medicine because of the side-effects of those medicines. I don't want to take medicine that gives me side-effects. So, I fought. And I fought hard. "I'm not a schizophrenic!" "I don't see anything wrong with me!" "Why don't you just leave me alone. Let me go!" These outbursts are where I was at at 21 years old and in the system. I only got to be an adult for one month before I got locked up. And everyone gets started on Haldol. But if the first medicine was Seroquel, the tides will change and you just might have found the answer to your loved one's resistance.

With Seroquel there just might be less stigma and less denial. Start us with Seroquel. You may be surprised on the results of doing so. 

Vocabulary ABC's