Saturday, December 13, 2014

Before you feel lonely, listen.

    As I was growing up, it never occurred to me that my family-life
was different. I didn't think much about it, because it just was. My life.
It just was.

    My mother and her family have been in America since the 1700's
from the state- Ohio. She has a large family. But, it was mostly
matriarchal. 

    My father though, is an immigrant. He arrived in America with 
his mother when he was 12. Not knowing English very well, he
would read the comics section of the newspaper and had learned
English in about six months.

    When my mother got pregnant, she was only sixteen and my 
father nineteen. They married. Fifteen months after I was born, my
brother was born.

    We had a decent homelife for most of my childhood. My father
was there with my mother raising my brother and I on their own.

    Then, when I was ten, my babcia (grandmother) passed on. My 
father was only 28. Here in the United States, still with just his
mother, now finding himself an orphan.

    I am sure he has family somewhere, but they never came forward
after my babcia passed away. Even now, after 35 years, he lives
alone. Saddened by his lonely existence. No family but my brother
and I and his grandchildren.

    I am told that he was born in a Russian concentration camp in
Siberia. When he was six, there was said to be an arrangement where 
he and my babcia were allowed to leave, but not his father. He had to stay
behind.

    From there(Russia), my father and babcia went to Poland. They 
spent six years there as well.

    My father says that his mother's parents were French Ambassadors
to Poland, before the second world war. That is all I know about her
family. 

    During world war II, my babcia was married to a Polish lieutenant.
They pulled them both from their home, shot her husband dead on the
front porch and shipped her off to Siberia.

    I don't know much about my father's family and when my babcia died,
there was no one. No one came forward to help or comfort my father.

    To this day, the only family I have known from my father is his mother.
To this day, 35 years and counting, no one has claimed my father as
family.

    My mother left him four years after my babcia died. I dont know.
I dont know why they broke up. But, they did.

    My father had no one to lean on. No family from his mom, no family
from his dad. And only his wife and children to keep him company.

    Now that is lonely. But, he never complained. Never felt sorry for
himself.

    Last Christmas I cried for his loneliness. "Where are they?!!" "Why?!!"
Why would they leave him like that?

    And, I cry for my father now... Why?  Where? 

    I will probably cry every Christmas, for my father must really feel 
lonely. But, he'll never show it. That is just his way.

    
  

Thursday, November 6, 2014

The Reality of Being Realistic

    Once touched upon, the ambitious future one plans on, only grows and grows until;

1-  You either reach your goal
         
                  or

2- Your ambitions change

                  or

3- You give up........................


    Being realistic about your options can sometimes be difficult for the mentally ill.
Growing up, from as early as elementary school, with others your age, you start 
dreaming and planning your future. But, somehow your peers seem to leap away, 
becoming just what they had planned to be- while you are still learning what you want 
in life. It can be daunting watching your ambitious peers distance themselves 
(in more ways than one).

    Now is a good time to sit down and write it all out. Just like going over pros
and cons; write down your views of benefits vs. credit. It really isn't that hard,
especially if you have someone helping you figure out your self-worth. 
Do this on paper (almost like you would with pros vs. cons).

    While working on your self-worth brainstorm, one can probably imagine how different
and apart people can be (those working vs. those receiving benefits). When someone
is there to help you sort things out, they can be there to also help you be more realistic 
with your situational reality. When they are honest, one might hear many things like:

" I might look like I have a lot of money, but I am buried under a lot of debt."

" At least you have a safety net, that doesn't require mom and dad."

" You actually have more spending money than I do."

    Sitting down and being realistic about your circumstances can change your
perspective about your disabled situation.

    Remember, some people need help recognizing that they are in a good spot. Help
seeing the realistic reality of their circumstances.

    One might touch upon one of my earlier articles:
                                                     "Social Security is not Financial Security"

    This might help you draw up a self-worth portfolio. Keeping in mind that even
though there are benefits to being on social security, there are still different levels
of benefits and circumstances, that life dishes out, changing one's freedom.

    So, hang in there. And if you need help being realistic about your circumstances,
there is probably a friend or family member just waiting for you to have that-
" Ah-Ha " moment when your perspectives of your self-worth reach your recognition.

    Now that the holidays are upon us, it is also good to remember what we are
thankful for. My article, "Reasons for the Seasons" is a good activity every year.

    Good luck and best wishes for a healthy holiday season.


    

"To be enlightened is both a blessing and a curse"

Hosting my awareness, or consciousness being hosted....
My inner child grows younger as my outer being grows older....

Personal Consciousness and Enlightenment





Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Some ways to cope with side-effects

To my readers:

    I thought I might give a little bit of help to those struggling with side-effects.

    Some of my strategies:

       For-

          1. Fidgetting; I found that posture while sitting can help you from 
                                 feeling unsettled. Put your feet square on the floor,
                                 about even with your hips. Then flex your toes and 
                                 at an angle (45*) lift your heels and rest them at the
                                 angle against the chair legs.

                                 ( If you are not in a chair, lift your heels to where
                                    it is comfortable and if you can still rest your
                                    heels- do so )

                                  I came across this posture when I was crocheting
                                  and trying not to overwork my back.

          2. Pacing:  Sometimes pacing happens when your medicine dosage
                            is too high. But then, sometimes, it is akathesia that attacks
                            the tendons on the backs of your knee making the backs
                            of your knee uncomfortable- like your tendons are stiff
                            and only partway flexing. 

                            Sometimes, having a banana or two a day is helpful with
                            the feeling of being restless without any relief from this
                            uncomfortable side-effect. I think that it is the potassium
                            that helps relieve your discomfort.

          3. Rocking: For this, I found that the lower back and upper buttocks
                            are tense and massage helps with this, but once a month
                            may be too little help for this, because the symptoms
                            usually come back up in a week. So, if you can afford it,
                            ( talk to your doctor first ), but if you can afford it I would
                            recommend massage on a weekly basis.

          4. Tremors: Sorry, for this I can only urge you to talk to your doctor
                            and suggest switching to a different medicine. But, it 
                            helps if you already have a new medicine in mind.

          5. Blurry Vision: Consult with your eye doctor.

          6. Trouble Sleeping/Sleeping too much: Consult with both of your
                             doctors. Psychiatrist/Primary Care Physician

          
    I hope some of these are helpful.  Remember the resources at the side of
            this page and also the helpful links that can be found in my
                 article:  Vocabulary ABC's in mental health circles, posted
                      in July 2014.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Removing fear from the "diagnosis" might just save someone you love.

     One of the many misconceptions of mental illness is the use of a straight jacket. Ok, so that one was easy right? They say I am mentally ill, but I was never told that the straight jacket is antiquated. But, then I learn that medicine is used as a straight jacket instead of the real thing. But, that is still the real thing. Medicine.

    To understand the fear that patients face, go back to your childhood. What did your family say when you noticed a mentally ill person. What did your friends say. How about the media. Hmmm.....

    You probably went along with the idea that being "mentally ill" is bad and that it won't happen to you cause someone said so. Probably from someone in the family. 

    Then there is the burden of truth. Trying to prove to everyone that you are not "one of them" and that you don't need that awful medicine that makes you look crazy. Cause, I'm still me inside. "Please, I don't want to take this medicine because it makes me look crazy. I see the way it affects my physical character and I don't like it."

    Please, when did I stop being me and became crazy to you?
I'm still the me I remember. Why is it that all my dreams are crushed, just because you! say so?

    There should be stricter laws on committing someone. Because, as far as I remember it only takes two people and a judge to take away someone's dream of the future.

    It is this dream that is one of the problems. As I iterated in the article "Surviving mental illness from the inside out 2" in June 2012, not a single child growing up announces 'they want to grow up to be mentally ill'. 

    Now, why is that?

    Fear. Fear of innuendo and labels. So that would be three.

    That folks is part of the stigma and they (the medical staff) try to 'teach' "us" coping skills. What exactly are we supposed to grin and bear it? Discrimination. Plain. Simple. 

    So, if you can no longer grin and bear it, take a breath and then go to my article "Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health Circles"
and educate. Educate yourself, your family, your friends. Educate anyone. Educate everyone.

    If we get the word out more and more, the fear of mental illness might become "learned" with mental disorder. 

     

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Simple DNA Test... simple?

     Recently, I met with my psychiatrist and requested a DNA test 
available to help with my treatment. So, sure enough, I swabbed
the inside of my cheeks myself.

    Later into the week, I looked up the test (not the results) on the
internet and saw that it is met with controversy. Some critics are
hopeful, where others are pessimistic.

    It is said to have little correlation towards specifics in the mental
health areas. But, for me (a patient since 1990), I remain anxious and
skeptical about the results of my test. To finally have a scientific way
of choosing certain medicines is a GOD SEND.

    Imagine, just recently- before the GINA ACT- doctors and nurses
in the mental health field could only use observation as the way and
means for diagnosing someone with a mental illness and the subsequent
"symptoms" directly observed, seen, experienced in that particular
patient's file- where these observations then determined a patient's
"meds" (medicines).

    At this time, enzymes help determine a patient's reactions to only 
forty differing medicines at this time. But, it is a start! 
How far we have come in the psychiatric field and it feels
liberating. Finally, science is slowly catching up. It feels great to 
be a part of it's upcoming scientific breakthroughs.  

    So many of my peers and myself have gone through medicinal
hell. I am speaking of side-effects that accompany most, if not all,
psychiatric medicines. And think of our poor doctors. Doing their
best to prescribe the correct medicines with only the DSM-IV
guidelines and ICD-9CM international guidelines at their disposal.

    I am sorry to those who are so skeptical that they are against
the testing and recommend the antiquated way of diagnosing and
then the subsequent dosing with only observational and patient
input as their guidelines.

    So many have dedicated their professional and personal lives
to finding breakthroughs, such as this beginner of a test, this DNA
test, that allows doctors and nurses (in a non-invasive way) a more
precise and explainable diagnostic result, in the treatment of mental illness.

    Imagine this: you have a patient. They don't know the symptoms.
They don't know the illness. Yet, in order for you to help treat the
patient you are also required to educate the patient, AND, sometimes
the patient is resistant to teaching due to denial.

    Without a patient learning about mental health, about 70% of a
psychiatrist's decisions is guesswork.

    Along comes a DNA test. A scientific example of enzyme reactions
clinically studied; not reactions physically studied. A test that keeps
the mental health patient from suffering adverse effects that sometimes
come with certain medicines that up until now doctors and nurses were
blind to until the client was dosed and treated. Experienced.

    Wow. And there are doctors against this?

"mapping the human connectome" using 'MRI' technology

 www.psychcentral.com

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/07/24/genetic-testing-for-mental-disorders-avoid-23andme-navigenics-others-for-now/


http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/looking-at-my-genes-what-can-they-tell-me/index.shtml



Saturday, August 9, 2014

There is LIFE after Diagnoses


  
     I would like to thank my loyal readers. About a year ago, when I
found my blog going international, I had a boost in confidence that 
what I put out here is actually helping and that, even though slow,
my readership is increasing.  

     I thought I would give a little follow-up and help give some confidence
to my readers. 

     I was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder a month after I turned
21. I saw all my career and family dreams disappear before an
antiquated form of treatment and even older form of standard DSM-IV
conclusive psychiatry guidelines. Back then, diagnoses were still an
observation and guessing game.

    Now that we are coming into a more understanding and
friendlier DSM5 and ICD-10CM guidelines with accepted
treatments, changing norms and society standards- I hope 
the stigma campaign is working to help stop prejudice 
and decrease suicide numbers that plague
the mentally ill.

    I am 45 now, have two children in college, an orphaned father
and a baby brother who still argues with me and who's 
loving family still welcomed me after 10 years between visits. 
Having lost some family, I am still coming to terms with and
working in therapy to learn how to positively remember memories
(what is normal, what is typical, and what I still need to work through).
I have many cousins, many younger than me, and I try to give 
them courage just in case they find themselves also 
in the mental health system. In other words, I still
need to set a good example.
 
     In the meantime remember what a difference a friend makes
( even though that link has expired, it is still a good motto ) 
you might be able to save your friend's life. 

  Thank you again to all my readers.            

  Help a friend, help yourself, help someone.                                                                

  click here for support: talk to someone now:

  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
                                                                      



Saturday, July 26, 2014

THE GREAT UNDERSTANDING {AN ANECDOTE}





                                                 THE GREAT UNDERSTANDING



"There is faith in what you say,

and fate will catch up with you

if you are lying"

Here describes the phrase,

"My word is my bond".



To believe something,

in something,

implies truth and realism.



"( truth, justice, & the 'American' way)"



Many have given their life

to defend the integrity

this phrase has attached to it.

'Heroes'



Knowing that these heroes have been

the reason for the luxury

Americans take for granted

each and every day,

(living in a peaceful nation);

nations cry out,

for we are not a peaceful people.



To find honor in faith

is life.

To find faith

the governing foundation

is peril.




Finding a religion

that fits one's faith

is peaceful, 

whereas,

changing one's faith

to fit a religion

is torment.




Growing up, 

there have been 'whispers'.

Quiet ideas stretching globally.


( one world government )


Yet,

the ideology is too debatable.

Perhaps, the idea

needs to be more colloquial.




Surely, it has been seen

in world government discussion,

that before there is a government

there must needs be a country.




Therefore, one might conclude....

Earth is the country.

Recognizing an age old argument,

" the chicken or the egg ".




Under the United Nations,

many leaders have shown great leadership.

Yet, there is an exclusivity

adjudicated

prior to "membership"

that screams, "excluded!"




World peace waits

until all nations are allowed voice.



Nations, of this day,

have used religion

in the building blocks that form-

justice;

enforcing laws

upholding government

and

nation standards.




Now, this concerns

a great people.



It shows national foundations

as flimsy as

a house of cards.



For, if religion is changed,

or more "modernly"

"removed"

nations become lawless.



The fallacy, of this nature,

is the assumption:

" without religion, we are without law ".



Law governs religion.

Justice protects government.

Religion places faith in justice,

whereas,

government is known to change law

against the absolute,

" To tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth-

'so, help me god!' "



Yet-

religion does NOT

enforce governmental laws,

justice does.



One World Government
=
religious dichotomy



It comes down to 

enforcing truth,

discouraging lies.



Putting- " The fear of GOD "

into citizens approach,

is weakening.



Uniting 

all lands and peoples,

depends on laws

not yet put forward.

Until 

all lands and peoples

have a voice,

world peace

will remain- elusive.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Someone Outstanding in Mental Health Treatment and Study?




 American Psychiatric Association has many awards available for that someone special.

email: apa@psych.org
1-888-35 PSYCH

1000 Wilson Boulevard
suite # 1825
Arlington, VA
               22209-3901

(703)907-7300


 www.psychiatry.org/join-participate/awards





Sunday, July 20, 2014

Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health Circles


                                 http://www.dsm5.org/Pages/Default.aspx

                                        http://www.nami.org/

                                        www.nejm.org

                                         www.surgeongeneral.gov

                                         www.samhsa.gov

                                        www.healthcare.gov

                                         www.socialsecurity.gov

                                        www.whitehouse.gov 

              http://surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/chapter1/sec1.html#roots_stigma
    
                           http://www.mentalhealth.gov/

                             http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2013/06/03/fact-sheet-president-obama-applauds-commitments-raise-awareness-and-incr

http://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/rulesforengagement/2013/06/obama_presses_for_mental_healthcare_for_students_reduction_in_stigma.html

The Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law

    988                                                                    www.sanityscore.com
    5150
    72 hour hold
    14 day hold
    30 day conservatorship investigation            http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/categories
    90 day temporary conservatorship
    1 year/permanent conservatorship

    ADL's = Activities of daily living:
                      Shave
                      Shower                                                  
                      Brush teeth
                      Room neat & tidy                                   http://dictionary.reference.com/
                      Clean clothes on
                      Bed made
                      Hair combed

A:   
    Abnormal
    Acceptance
    Accommodate
    Accommodating
    Accountability
    Action
    Activity
    Acute
    ADA
    Advocacy
    Advocate
    Aggressive
    Akathisia
    Amenorrhea
    Anxiety
    Anorexia
    Arts&Crafts
    Assume
   
B:
    Behavior 
    Belief
    Belongings
    Benefits
    Bipolar
   
C:
    Cancer
    Career
    Case Management
    CBT
    Central Nervous System
    Challenge
    Children
    Choices
    Chores
    Chronic
    Class
    Clinician
    CT-Scan
    Cure
    Curfew
    
E:
    Echo
    ECT
    Educate
    Education
    Emotional
    Emotion
    Empathy
    Employment
    EPS
    Etiology
    Exercise
    Expression

    Functional
  
    Gym

  
I:
    ICD-10CM
    ILF
    I.M.
  
J:
    Jacuzzi
    Jail
K:
    Kind
    Kindness

    Love
    Lucid
    Lucidity

    Mood
    MRI

N:
    NAMI 
    Need
    Negative Symptoms
    Nerves
    Nervosa
    Neuron
    Normal
    Nurse

O:

    Prognosis
    Psychotic
Q:
    Query
    Questions
    Quiet Room
    Rights
    Right to Refuse
    Rocking
    Routine

S:
    Safety
    SAMHSA
    Schedule
    Schizoaffective
    Schizophrenia
    School
    Serotonin
    Shelter
    Shift
    Shift Change 
    SI
    Side-effects
    Silent 
    Sleep
    Smell
    SMI
    Smoking
    Stress
    Structure
    Symptoms
    Syndromes
    Treatment
    Tools
    Touch

U:

V:
    Various
    Vision
    Voices

    Work
    Worldwide

X:
    X-ray

Y:
    Yoga
    Young
    Youth

Z:
    Zoo