Part of my success with coping with schizo-affective bipolar disorder is due to the fact that I have accepted my diagnosis. I say this because it is true. I have a mental illness.
My deceased uncle had schizophrenia and my deceased grandfather had bipolar disorder. This makes me at least 3rd generation mental health patient. I say this because this is also true. I have both. That is what schizo-affective disorder is, it is a combination of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
For a very long time in the past, I was in denial. I can
remember when I was growing up family would pull me to the side and say, “Don’t worry about what your grandfather and uncle are going through, it only hits the men in the family”. My grandfather was a civil engineer and my uncle could not hold down a job. The family would talk about how my grandfather lost his senses and went up to the White House and punched a secret service employee. As for my uncle, the family said my uncle was mentally ill because he did drugs and for the longest time I believed that that is what made my uncle ‘sick’. In other words, he “couldn’t have been born with it” because it came from outside the family gene pool. Their belief is, “We didn’t do drugs so we are sane.” I kept this mentality for a long time, this phobia that runs in my family. I blamed my illness on drug use and that is the wrong way to view it.
Drugs are not the cause of mental illness.
We don’t know why yet, but we are close to finding the cause of it. Personally, I firmly believe that sleep deprivation and loss of REM (deep sleep) is the root, but not the cause. It is my belief that mental illness is an insomnia side-effect and that the cause would be chronic insomnia.
Speaking of side-effects, understanding and recognizing side-effects can help you gain control of your treatment. When you have a firm understanding of your illness, such as what is your medicine made out of, what symptoms are you experiencing, even telling what medicine works best for you that maybe there can be a collaboration in your treatment with your treatment team. If you can do that, you will know that ultimately you control the process, not the process controls you.
That is why I say in the beginning that there is no room for denial in a diagnosis. Once you have it, it is for life. But, if you do the steps, go to groups, listen to what your groups are trying to teach you, comply with treatment regimens, understand your flare-ups, catch your symptoms as they happen around others, work with your treatment coordinators and doctors, work on your behavior, and change your outlook, your perceptions- you will be happy to see your doctor, happy to see your nurse because you are finally able to see why they are helping you cope with mental illness. You will get it. The reason they do what they do and say what they say. The more you learn about your treatment team the more you will see that they are on your side.
Remember, there is no cure and that you are the biggest player in your treatment. Getting off conservatorship is a process not a program. There are certain things that the experts look for. If you go to groups and become an active player when you visit your treatment team you will catch on to what they look for within your treatment. When you have this knowledge, suddenly it feels like you are respected. They listen. (a glorious thing)
Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health Circles
ways to learn, ways to lean on, ways to save
a loved one's life.... please visit the ABC's