Homosexuality No Longer a Mental Illness

     There was a time when homosexuality was considered a
mental illness. Well, no more. According to the new DSM5,
homosexuality has been removed, but is far from being
extinct from controversial new labels such as gender dysphoria.

     Will there be a time when bipolar and schizophrenia are
no longer a mental illness too? That remains to be seen. This
is probably something to consider in the far off future,
because the new DSM5 just surfaced and was changed  from
the DSM-IV recently. There was about fifty years? of the
DSM-IV before the professionals changed it in the DSM5.

     I wrote something for school about gender dysphoria and
would like to share it with you. I am asexual and wonder if
that would be considered a disorder too. Between my medicine
and the abuse I suffered as a child, I am celibate and abstain
from any sexual behaviors. Sex disgusts me. I am asking for
an open mind about this.

     Vocabulary ABCs

     Thanks for letting me share a little college with you.
    

Gender Dysphoria and Societal Labels

     Social labeling may seem like it will last forever, but opinions and facts change over time. Biology, on the other hand, is what we are born as and nothing can change that. This encompasses the children born with chromosomes other than XX and XY. At around age 3, children have learned that they fall into a sex category- boy or girl; but, some do not accept this fact even at this young of age. There is peer pressure to “adopt same-sex stereotype attributes and to shun cross-sex ones” (Tobin et al. 602). Those children that see themselves as cross-sexed face an uphill battle of peer pressure, family concern, and many physician visits; including psychiatric as well as psychological therapy to “make sure” the child is really determined to be cross-sexed. I think treatment should include testing the chromosomes of the child, because the child may be biologically the ‘other’ sex.

     Gender segregation starts at home. Mommy is a girl, she does this. While daddy is a boy and he does that. This gender typing is normal and carries over to the child around their peers where the child at school will play with others of the same-sex and feel peer-pressure to shun the other-sex and other-sex activities at a young age.

     Physicians believe that “1-individuals are psychosexually neutral at birth and 2-healthy psychosexual development is dependent upon the appearance of the genitals” (Diamond 2). I disagree. I believe that our biological ‘clock’ tells us, at certain plateaus, that we are what we are and that you cannot make a boy into a girl just because you screwed up and maimed the child. It is psychologically more damaging, than if you were honest about it. If not, there will be trust issues later on that will never go away. The psychological damage is severe and irreversible.

          

                                                                                                                                                          

Diamond agrees, stating: “We believe that any 46-chromosome XY individual…should be raised up as a male”, and that, “This decision is not simple…” (Diamond 14).

     According to MacKain, “How (a) child creates and uses gender categories may be influenced by any number of factors: parental teaching, modeling…certain toys, or exposure to situations in which children can learn about anatomical differences between males and females(MacKain,14).

This environmental exposure is sometimes beyond the control of the parent. Thus the adage, ”kids will be kids”. We need to avoid assumptions and take into account, “that in order to understand how gender operates within the minds of children it is necessary to take into account each child’s unique perspective on what gender (is)” (Tobin et al,601). Gender identity is unique to each individual child and should be seen through that specific child’s perspective without sway. A preschooler’s gender schema allows the rapid acquisition of gender stereotypes that influences their behavior and they use this “belief” (Tobin et al,602) to process information about others. They intercollate their beliefs into how they play, who they play with, and how they structure their behavior, modeling peer-pressures in all their interactions with others. “Children use implicit theories of categorization to guide their thinking” (Tobin et al.,605) and their way of thinking gets passed onto others (mainly their peers).

     It is unfortunate that children, who at an early age feel cross-sexed, are put through therapy to learn more about “boys and girls”. Their innocence is disrupted, because the adults in “said” child’s life want to “make sure” for themselves, that their child’s determination is real. I also oppose hormone therapy at a young age. Yes, embrace the child, but leave the hormones out of it until the child is in their late teens and wait for the child to fully understand what for and why they are taking hormones.     

                                                                                                                                                          

     When I was young, my parents used to say, “You can be anything you put your mind to”, but, even the idea of boy into girl or girl into boy was kept hush-hush. The bible guided my uneducated teenage parents and if something was considered a sin we avoided it. I am far from being a devout follower, but I have reservations on the topic of androgeny. Should we or shouldn’t we? How early is too early? Are there nurturing issues perpetuation the child’s self-concept? Has the child been exposed and now wants to androgenize for safety reasons? It is alright to entertain the idea from the child’s perspective, but it would be a mistake if you lead the child into a decision. So, boy or girl? These days, there is more support and understanding that circumvents stigma and discrimination.

     With all of these questions remaining, I decided to go straight to the source (DSM5). The DSM5 has three gender categories: gender dysphoria, other specified gender dysphoria and unspecified gender dysphoria. For the sake of staying on topic, I will only be looking at gender dysphoria in young children.

     In the DSM5, it states that, “Individuals with gender dysphoria have a marked incongruence between the gender they (are born with) and their experienced/expressed gender” (302.6 (F64.2)). It also explains the difference between “early onset” and “late onset” of the disorder. But why should someone’s gender preference be categorized as a disorder in the first place? Just because someone is different than that of the norm and refuses to conform to “stereotypical gender role behavior” (DSM5) does not mean that they have a disorder. Society thrives on labels, but sometimes labels are misplaced, misguided, and distasteful because they want that label, they want to know what category to put their experience in. Sometimes, you just have to accept things as they are- without labels.

References

Diamond, Milton, and H. Keith Sigmundson. (2009). Sex Reassignment at Birth: A Long Term Review and Clinical Implications. Retrieved from http://hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/ 1961to1999/1997-sex-reassignment.html.

DSM5. (2016) Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596.dsm14

Mac Kain, S.J.(1987). Gender Constancy: A Realistic Approach. (1-14) Retrieved from http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED286583.pdf

Tobin, Desiree D., Meenakshi Menon, Madhavi Menon, Brooke C. Spatta, Ernest V. E. Hodges, David G. Perry. (2010). The Intrapsychics of Gender: A Model of Self-Socialization. Psychological Review, 117(2), 602-622.

    

I Have Thoughts, I Hear Your Voice-NOT Voices in My Head

     Ever since I can remember, I have worked hard everyday. It started with chores
and then moved into odd jobs around the neighborhood. Such as, shoveling snow
and mowing yards. Then, while still having chores at home, I came into a paper
route that just kind of fell into my lap so to speak. I worked hard, and I found it
pretty lucrative (not bad for a twelve year old). I then moved into working for my
mother at law firms. Being an assistant legal messenger/receptionist fill in was
interesting, but mundane. I wanted more from life than to be stuck in an office
all day pushing papers.

     Coping with a mental illness is also hard work. At first, things seemed to be
holding me back from my potential. My ambition kept me in denial, because
I was looking at mental illness as an insult, a barrier to my ambitions, a barrier
that was holding me back from my potential.

     Then, I surfed my symptoms. I rode wave after wave of symptoms. Sometimes
feeling like I was in heaven and sometimes feeling like I was in hell. It took
forever and a day to realize I could capitalize on mental illness. It was a lot
of will power, but slowly my behavior changed. I embraced my illness. I
realized that I was fighting the wrong war. That it was not my brain that was
the problem, it was my behavior.

     But, then, there is something more about my symptoms. Something that
has me looking at dualism (mind separate from body). I could visualize when
I was around someone (living or not) who was visiting me out of body. Now,
of course, some things cannot be seen, but some things require an open mind.
And I am asking for an open mind.

     I had to look real hard at my awareness and my consciousness. They are
two distinct perceptions. I get epiphanies and ideas that I can't explain where
they came from other than the fact that I am thinking them without any
previous knowledge of whatever ideas I get sometimes.

     Then, I started thinking that I was a meld of some sort. But, that was a
stretch of the imagination. I finally settled on an idea. This idea has me
wondering, am I a host to a higher intellectual being or am I being hosted
for my consciousness. I have come to the realization that I am the host,
because I realize that I interpret what I endure. I am an interpreter to my
symptoms, for better or worse. When I vocalize these thoughts in my mind,
sometimes I have to get the interpretation out, for better or worse. Someone,
around within hearing distance, needs to hear what I interpret. It is kind
of like the way of Tourette syndrome. It is even demanded sometimes.

     How did I come by the ideology of being a host to a higher intellectual
being? Because, I get my reality checks through nature. Nature talks to
me. I interpret nature's call. Then, nature gives me my reality checks
through thoughts in my head, not voices in my head. I actually hear nature
out loud, through my ears. I read the signs. I believe in omens. I pray for
safety from becoming prey.

     This is a Human, Haebus, Habeas world. We are human now, but we
are also an animal, and we grow like we are planted. I had to learn how
to live where I was planted and to bend with the weather, be it storm
or sunshine, night or day, and now I feel close to blooming. Blooming
because I finally get it. There are thoughts in my head that come from
somewhere beyond my perspective. Some place of a higher realm, a higher
universe, maybe even a parallel universe. There is a reason we learn of the
golden age, the silver ages, and the bronze age. We are living in a dual
realm. We are of two suns, not one. We are binary. Living in a binary
star system. I wish I could explain this paragraph better. I may try to
in a different article. For now, I just think that for every human, there
is an animal parallel and a plant parallel. That we are no longer homo-sapien,
but H U M A N.

Vocabulary ABC's

Thanksgiving is Here Once Again and I Am Thankful

            Many people suffer from seasonal

depression. This quick exercise can help even
the most defeatist attitudes. Learning the good,
ignoring the bad takes practice and know-how.
Practice looking into your memory for the good
things in life also helps your outlook on life.

           May you all have a safe and happy holidays
this year and all year round. 

  "Reasons for the Seasons"

     Around Thanksgiving time, there is a popular

concept that can help put the last year in perspective.

     Gather in a group, or gather yourself together

to get ready for the activity of the season.

     On a blank xerox piece of paper, put in the

center of it the phrase, " I Am Thankful For ".

     Then, it is customary to think of things

that you are thankful for. Put it down on the paper

and put as many as you can. If you want to make
more than one, well that is a good thing.

     When you are done, place it in an area where

you can read it to remember all the things you are

thankful for and the reasons you are thankful.

     After a few years, (if the activity was saved),

you can view the activities side by side.  It is

amazing how different they might turn out to be.

     I learned this activity during a therapeutic group

gathering.

    Every year, I try to write thank you letters to family

and friends telling them through those letters how

thankful I am to have them in my life. With practice 

looking at the good thoughts, negativity takes a back seat. 

                                                     www.nami.org 

 

Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health 

 

Surviving Mental Illness from the Inside-Out

Why Can't I Just Be Still?

     I have noticed that those of us on medicine bounce, fidget, and pace. Why is
it that when all I want to do is rest; I end up pacing, fidgeting, and bouncing?
The reason is, is that there is a brain-timing mechanism that medicine affects.
When I walk, I can't just walk. I end up counting my steps. To avoid counting,
I try to listen to music as I walk.

     But, I am getting ahead of myself. Bouncing, fidgeting, and pacing seems
like I have boundless energy, but I actually am trying to avoid cramping. This
cramping I associate with the phrase- muscle sepsis. The medical field terms
these side-effects as.akathisia .

     What happens is that when you try to relax your muscles, your tendons start
to partially contract or you get mild stomach cramps (and those make you rock).
At this time, there is no alternative treatment that allows you the freedom to
relax, but there are coping skills.

     Some coping skills that I have found helpful is: walking (at least a mile),
putting your heals against chair legs with your toes bent (this is especially
helpful if you find yourself bouncing your legs), a long hot bath (this has a
calming effect and helps you rest when you are going to sleep), going to bed
on a full stomach (this keeps daydreams away at night), then there is reading
in bed (this distracts you and seems to calm restless legs), and finally, staying
awake during the day (so you can be tired enough at night to fall asleep without
restless legs).

     Please look for other Vocabulary ABC's links to explainations of what is
what to the mentally ill and their family.
    
     Surviving Mental Illness from the Inside Out

Why College is Important

   Did you know that the brain is not fully mature until around 25-27? I really wish the age of
a minor in the United States would be raised to at least 21. I hear that some states do have the
age of a minor set at 21, but this needs to be nationally, with another 2 years of school added
to the curriculum. That would mean that junior college would become a mandatory requirement.

   Who would have expected that my assumptions to be right? In a few previous posts I iterate
about raising the age of a minor, so that the child could learn that there is still a chance, before
age 25, to become a schizophrenic or be affected with another mental illness. Bipolar and schizophrenia are not the only mental illnesses out there. There is body dysmorphic disorder,
anorexia, bulimia, OCD, disassociative disorder- to name a few. They say that one
out of five adults have a mental disorder. They also say, that it is closer to one in four.
That's a lot of people.

   Not only should the age of a minor be raised, but families should keep childen home
until you know for sure that they can survive on their own. I would say that 25 is the new
18. Why would you set your child up for failure? Unless they can demonstrate they can
have gainful employment or even finish college with a degree and then look to become
independent if they want to leave sooner, need to be home. Boundaries are key. They
want to be alone, but then again adult children still need parental support and guidance.
Think about it as finishing school. Our children need us.

Young Adult Resources

Vocabulary ABC's

Surviving Mental Illness from the Inside Out

How I Overcame Loneliness

 Being mentally ill causes moments of loneliness that has the 
potential to eclipse all else. Being shunned and abused is a 
common phenomena to the mentally ill. You feel like you are
alone and that society will do everything in its power to make
sure you follow what they want, excluding what you want, what
you want to be in life and that they won't let you get there. You 
are not the same as them. To them you can't handle real life and
what real life really is.

 Society, family, friends... all say just accept your social status.
Accept that you will forever be in a poverty stricken system and 
stay put. To a high-achieving person this is social suicide. Growing
up, you do well in school. You know what you want to be, but now
you can't be that because you are labeled "crazy". You get put on conservatorship, all freedom is taken from you, even your right to
vote and drive. You can't even do normal things by yourself, as if
you lost the ability to do laundry, take showers, clean house. All
of that is supervised. You're not stupid, you know how to do those
things. But, you are faced with every aspect of your life being dictated to you. Telling you when, where, why, and how.

 What if I told you that I was abused? What if I told you that my
family raised me to be mentally ill so they didn't have to accept
the fact that they did nothing to stop it? What if I told you that the
abuse lasted for four and a half years? What if I told you that I am
still being abused? Not the same abuse as when I was ten, but a 
different kind of abuse? The victim of bullying? The victim of 
passive-aggressive treatment? The victim of belittling? The 
victim of social parriahism? The victim of stigma? The victim
of loneliness? 

 Being abused affects every aspect of the social spectrum. It interferes with daily socializing. It interferes with daily conversation (because it might be difficult to communicate). It interferes with normal ambition (no one will hire you). It interferes with intimacy. It interferes with friendships. It interferes with sleep. There are probably more, but I can't think of them yet.

 Loneliness is a side-effect of mental illness. Almost every
patient has had loneliness overcome them. It is an empty life.
Being in a group home has helped me overcome my loneliness.
I am around people every day who have the same experiences that
I have. They have similar symptoms and they don't judge. They
are just there. There for me, if I allow them in. 

 I am not lonely anymore. I used to have my own residence. My 
neighbors abused me, because they knew I was mentally ill and 
that they could get away with it. I was shunned. It was lonely. 
Very lonely to the point that I would cry every day. But, I'm not
lonely now. I live in a shared residence. It helps to be around 
people with the same circumstances, the same symptoms, the same
diagnoses. 

 I have never been in a board and care. It is something that I am 
trying to avoid. Being in a half-way house has given me the
company that was missing when I was living on my own. To tell
the truth, I'm ready to go out on my own again, but it is taking a 
long time to get there. I don't make enough to rent an apartment on
my own. There is affordable housing, but those have wait lists. 
We will wait and see how things go, just because I have no other
choice. 

Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health 

Surviving mental illness from the inside out 

 I just noticed that my quick links are missing. I will try to 
trouble shoot that. I apologize to my readers.

How I became a participant in my treatment

     As I wait to see my psychiatrist, I look around the room in the lobby
and wonder about my peers waiting too. I wonder if they even realize that
they have a treatment choice. There comes a time when, you either accept
that you are mentally ill or forever be in denial.

     I became disabled early in my adult life. I actually was committed one
month after my 21st birthday. The early hospitalization was a nightmare,
but I wonder if the treatment I received at an early stage of my diagnosis
helped me to grudgingly admit later that I have a disability.

     This early intervention also most likely kept the disorder from progressing
further. I stayed lucid, even when in denial. But, I am accepting of my
diagnosis of the disorder. Even though I am in agreement about my illness,
some things just "are". I cannot prove it, but it is stuck and not going anywhere,
thus the symptom is still active.

     With this background, being in agreement is only part of becoming active
in your treatment. I would go to group meetings after group meetings, trying
to learn how I can convince the "powers that be" that I am normal. I dont have
a "crazy" problem and that I can take care of myself. I dont want that medicine,
it's doesnt work for me. I can tell that to my doctor and my doctor will listen,
but this only came about because I could "explain" further as to why as well
as to what would be a good substitute.

     The ability to say, "no" is a valuable commodity. It is freeing when you
become part of the decisions made in your treatment. But, my peers are
getting "stuck". They are stuck within their own delusions. As much as you
want to hand them the answers, they must live it to get it. To get the freedom
to direct your own treatment. I just hope that one day, the experience of what
I have been through can help someone else navigate the processes of what
it takes to have one foot in reality and one foot in imagination and still
function in the real world.

      Surviving mental illness from the inside out

      Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health

Dualism is NOT Dead

 Well, here I am in school learning about development of the mind
and the instructor explains that dualism is too tough of a concept to 
grasp, so the instruction will be based off of monism. That the brain
and consciousness are one and the same. I beg to differ. So here I go:

                               Existence vs. Existing
                               (my being, my body)
                               
     My body is aging, yet my awareness of conscious existence is
maturing in the reverse. I have the recognition where my body is 
capable of existing separately from my consciousness.

               Is it possible that I have found my "soul" ?

     Is my "soul" caught in the middle between my being and my body?
                                          or

     Have I discovered my person is two in one? Is my body host to 
my existence? Is my existence using a host?

     I feel like I have lived many lives, but had different features.

     When I expire, do I cease to exist? The expiration of my life
frightens me. Am I the host or the being? If I am both being and
host (meld), does that mean I have a split personality, separate
entities living together as one?

     An awakening of perspective that I might be two entities
simultaneously existing, gives me a new outlook on my reality.

     Is my mental health treatment trying to keep "us" a synonymous
entity? Is that why I have lost most of my freedom? Is treatment for
my host side or my being side or both? 

     Again' my being, my body? Host or being or meld? What am I?

Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health Circles

     "The ignorance of my reason, contrasts with my wisdom of knowledge."                                auntie steph

     Surviving mental illness from the inside out.



                                

How Does Mental Health Issues Fair with our Candidates?

I found the issue of Mental Health wrongly absorbed as violent acts with guns. Many, and most mentally ill are timid due to the various stigma discriminations that we face on a daily basis. In my blog post on Social Abuse and Shame, the side-effect of Mental Health Stigma I briefly touch on discrimination against the mentally ill. I give a deeper look in my article Mentally ill vs. Criminally ill, where I give my opinion about guns and who is actually involved. Usually, a criminal not a mental health patient is who pulls that trigger. They need to look at that fact.


Hillary Clinton
"There's mental health and substance abuse, both of which are incredibly expensive, heart wrenching, and in many ways, unaddressed in communities across our country. We're supposed to have parity, that means, if you have a mental health problem you're supposed to get taken care of just like if you had some physical problem. There shouldn't be any distinction. Because the more we learn about genetics the more we learn about the way the body works we know there are connections don't we. And so we have argued very hard to remove the stigma on mental health." - January 6, Henderson, Nevada


Donald Trump
"We have a tremendous mental health problem. We're closing places all over the world. All over the country they're closing. Nobody's doing anything about that. All they want to do is blame the guns. And it's not the gun that pulls the trigger." - January 3, CBS's Face The Nation

 Remember, there is the word list on mental health issues found at my blogpost- Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health Circles

 Please share if you have found this blog helpful. By word of mouth, this blog is seen internationally. Thank you to my readers for continuing to look in on this blog from time to time. I hope this blog has the potential to save lives. 

  Check out a newly discovered link about mental health at
www.mentalhealth.gov  there you can find the latest in government
undertaking of helping those with mental illness live their lives as
normal as possible.

Empathic Epiphany (Pareidolia)

     My intellect illuminates from being
touched by a higher power entity. For
surely, my ideas are more advanced than
my education.

     My first epiphany happened one night
when I was nine years old. I woke in the
middle of the night to the feeling of some
kind of energy in my room.

     The entity wanted to know what I wanted
most in life. I led a very religious life at that
time and my first answer would have been that
I want to go to heaven. But, I thought better
of it and answered, "I want to see the future". 

     I have been guided ever since with this
"energy" educating me within the process of
recurring epiphany. This energy educates me
with Egyptian hieroglyphics and gardens. It
urges me to trust in my higher power, and
that everything is going to be ok.

     And now with a different perspective
through CBT training, I can see there are
always two sides to every conflict. It is
up to me to focus on the perspective I
wish to acknowledge.

     In hindsight, I see now that the answer
given to the energy entity was really healthy.
If I had said I wanted to go to heaven, it
would have been interpreted as a death wish.
As for wanting to see the future, it has two
areas of application. One actually seeing
the future (dreams coming true since age 9) 
and the other actually wishing to stay alive.

     With mental illness, sometimes epiphanies
happen on a daily basis. Some interpret this
as "heavenly" sent and others can be more
realistic and interpret epiphanies objectively.

     But, my epiphanies cannot be mine. I am
guided. I am taught. I know things before I
am taught them through the art of hieroglyphics.
This higher entity (power) guides me gently and
with the wisdom of "Proverbs". Gracefully, I
plod on, waiting for my next "lesson".

Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health Circles
 

Another Oxymoron?

     I would like to start off by saying my parents were guilty of this, using oxymorons in my upbringing. I was constantly around this. An oxymoron is when you use antonyms in conversation and expect others to interpret what you actually mean.

     These could be attributed to the "don't" cycle "Don't touch that" or "That is Awfully Pretty" instead of using "Leave that alone and go play in your room" or "That is REALLY Pretty".

     Does this mean I am a moron? In a sense, yes. But, it can be changed with practice. I had to learn to say what I mean, not the opposite of what I mean and expect you to figure it out.

     It seems simple and easy to change, but it is not as easy as you might think. My mother would say, "put your shoes and socks on" instead of "put your socks and shoes on". This is not that bad? Well, no, but if you are young sometimes things get taken literally and I actually put my shoes on first then my socks when I first tried to get dressed.

     So, say what you mean and try to rid your conversations of the "don't" cycle, including stopping all the contractions that end in n't.
Good Luck.

     Remember (not don't forget) to check out my Vocabulary ABC's and look into TedxTalks  both are exciting and informative.

The Good Samaritan (Part 2)

     Back in April 2015 I wrote about a good Samaritan who helped me when I was homeless, by buying me a pair of shoes that happened to be the only pair I had for over a year. I have an update for you.

     I recently had a fall semester class with a lady whom resembled this good Samaritan. She happened to be my professor in Biology Lab 101.

     For the longest time, I would just stare at her in class, knowing that she resembled my saving grace. You see, my feet were bare. There were a lot of little glass shards imbedded into the soles of my feet from walking on dirty sidewalks. I was getting close to becoming immobile from the injuries I was sustaining.

     This professor resembled her so much, that I finally broke down and explained why I couldn't keep from studying her in class. I told her how I was saved by a good Samaritan and she had tears in her eyes. I then thanked her for the wonderful shoes and explained that they were my only pair for over a year. She said, "You're Welcome".

     I have an unexplained fact about this story that might peak your interest. You see, I had an assignment that needed to go into her mailbox at school so she could grade it. She looked so much like my "aunt Luz" that I described in my previous story that I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked at the first name on that mailbox.
That name was- Luz.

     Now my good Samaritan never gave her name. I just knew the name that my symptoms gave me after I put the shoes on. This is an amazing reuniting. I finally was able to say, "Thank you.". And, I have stronger faith that my symptoms are a special gift. A gift that scares others due to their ignorance and prejudices. But, they don't scare me anymore, but they used to. How would you explain me knowing her name without being told what her name was? This is not a coincidence, but a blessing and a gift of unimaginable beauty.

     Some people call us angels. Those of us with mental illness. I don't think I am an angel, but I do think I have a greater purpose than being locked up for being gifted. If you don't understand mental illness, then look for my Vocabulary ABC's.

     Gifted people can surprise you. This gift, surprised me.

I would like to add a TEDxTALK here about vocabulary algorithms. I have become a TEDxTALK junkie. It is a great way to communicate. They are like short seminars. A great find!

Am I Bound to Poverty Forever?

     Poverty is a herculean problem facing the mentally ill. Even though on Social Security, the amount being given is below poverty level. That also means that there are fewer opportunities for housing. Most housing properties have a minimum income requiring the individual to make a certain amount of money (usually yearly) and Social Security falls short by about 5000 dollars or more.

     This means fewer choices and long waitlists. It is not impossible though, to get off of Social Security and integrate into the community. But, some fellow co-workers, when they find out that you are disabled (because they will find out) start to become hostile to whatever you bring to the table because to them you are taking a job away from someone who needs it. Well, I need a job too. I want to be a productive citizen and pay my taxes instead of spending them. But, work, once it is out, well, the workers make working unlivable and create problems to make you quit.

     There are programs out there to give incentive to the disabled to work. The thing is, is that The Ticket-To-Work Program requires you to disclose to your potential employer that you are disabled so they can receive a subsidy when hiring you. But it is like a catch 22 so to speak. If you tell your potential employer that you are mentally disabled, most likely you won't get the job.

     Everyone has ambition and why should the mentally ill be any different? Just because someone is ill, this should not preclude an interview. I want to fulfill my potential and am having a difficult time finding my niche. But, I am still trying. Now, I am in college for a degree in psychology to become a peer to peer counselor and it will be my last hurrah. I tried cosmetology. I tried engineering. Now, I will be trying to fit into the health field. More specifically,
the mental health field.

     Along the way, well, I am learning a lot about what is normal thought and what is abuse. I am learning that most of my reservations about strangers is actually normal. Especially after what I have been through as a child and as a dependent adult. I am actually very independent when comfortable. I am learning how to bring myself out of poverty, but it is taking a long time. Nothing will happen overnight. My graduation is many years away, and I am trying to be patient getting there. It will be well worth it when I get there. Hopefully, this will pull me out of poverty and restricted status.

ABC's in Mental Health Circles

Housing Resources Here and Here
Here are Young Adult Programs

     Don't give up on your dream. You have a place and you will find it.

    
    

Shame, the side-effect of Mental Illness's Stigma

     Shamed. Shunned. Oppressed. Impoverished. Over-medicated. Misunderstood. Frustrated. Isolated. Browbeaten. Embarrassment.
Belittled.

     All of these and more are associated with a diagnosis of mental illness. Who is responsible for some if not all of these? Family and friends, then when in public, people teach their children to insult the mentally ill. We have to act like we don't notice, because we are just "hearing voices". You would be surprised how fast the public picks up on things that family and friends start.

     I say mental illness is a side-effect of insomnia. Where the dream melds with reality to the point of truth & vision mixed in with dream drama that never happens. In other words, some dreams are really happening and some dream expectations never come true.

     This is what I dub pre-cog vision. This is where dreams turn into reality by becoming true. I have mentioned this phenomenon in a previous article, but in a subtle way. My dreams have been coming true since I was nine years old. The older I get, the longer it takes for the dreams to come true. Well, some of them come true, some are just part of the dream and keep me waiting forever for things to happen. I also call this true Empathy. My doctor calls this kapgrass, a side-effect of Epilepsy.

     Remember the Vocabulary ABC's in Mental Health Circles
     If you need affordable housing see here: www.sdhcd.org or
     here- Low income housing guide for 2016
     Resources for the young adult

     If you have found this blog helpful, please recommend it to someone else. Thank you, auntie steph


    

    

How I Overcame Fatigue from Medicine

     As the mentally ill know too well, is that psychiatric medicine can be sedating. It gives you a different look in the morning, and many feel a "drugging effect", which can be disturbing by those who are clean and sober. Looking dopey is just one of the side-effects, others are having high amounts of rest.

     Rest is a good way to combat fatigue, but too much sleep and you have other problems. Maybe you are awake during the night after having a 16hour sleep. Maybe, your family thinks you sleep too much so they interrupt your sleep trying to wake you. So even though you slept 16 hours, you are still fatigued because it wasn't an uninterrupted sleep.

     What is a normal sleep pattern for those on psychiatric medicine is different for each individual. But, having a sleep diary might help you when speaking with your doctors. I try to be in bed about the same every night. It helps that my roommates also go to bed at the same time. I try to get a nap in every now and then.

     On average, for me, I need at least 9 hours of sleep in order to fully function for the day. I try to keep the same routine. Take my medicines at the same time every day. Eat at the same time every day. Shower at the same time every day. This gives my brain the 'illusion' that there is a regular time of day for every daily function. 

     If I am still too tired during the day, then it is time to talk to my doctor. I might have to take my morning medicine at night and vice versa take my night medicine in the morning. It is critical that any medicine adjustment be discussed with your doctor prior to the change because there might be withdrawals and that is dangerous.

     So, I got on a daily living schedule, I get as much rest as possible, I exercise (daily walks), I consult my doctor, I take my medicine. As long as I can still do this, I have more freedom. I am proactive in my treatment and know how to explain symptom flare-ups with my psychiatrist. Knowing symptoms is one thing, working through them proactively with your doctor is bringing treatment to another level.

     Vocabulary ABC's

    
 

Social Abuse

     As being mentally ill, I face Social Abuse sometimes on a daily
basis. It is close to peer-pressure, but those doing the abuse are not
my peers.

     It rears it's ugly head most when with others who disclose publicly that I am mentally ill. Like when someone asks, "Did you take your meds today?" Sometimes, the person asking is well aware that it could be heard by strangers. These strangers take up the clue and join in peripherally.

     Most of the Social Abuse is passive-aggressive. I actually learned from college courses that passive-aggressive behavior is associated with (as the textbook says) "crazymaking".

     My mother, before she passed away five years ago, was very passive-aggressive with me and encouraged others to treat me the same way, especially other family members. I have long held the opinion that my family raised me to be mentally ill and according to the textbook, it's true. I was right. I was raised to be in the mental health system.

     I realize that the term Social Abuse was not defined here. That is because it has many forms and intensities. It differs from person to person and at first is difficult to recognize, especially if you are blind to passive-aggressive behaviors.

     Remember the Vocabulary ABC's in mental health

     It is important to educate yourself in the comings and goings of memory, thinking, and behaviors. I hope that this is helpful, and if it is, please share with someone who might benefit too. Thank you.

    

How I Overcame Stigma

   How I Overcame Stigma. Well, in almost every person there resides a need to know. To be able to fill that need, I became open
about my mental illness. I don't yell it from the street corner, but if in conversation, if the opportunity presents itself, I say it. I say, at this opportunity, "I need to tell you something, and I hope you don't take it wrong- I am mentally ill". Most people just keep talking, but there are some where the trepidation is palpable. 
   Sometimes, you just have to jump into it with both feet. Sink or Swim. It seems that the more you talk about mental illness, the more you see that even average people know or are related to someone who is mentally ill.
   My bravado has gotten better with age and education. The more educated I am about my own mental health, the braver I am at speaking out, because the more you know the more confident you become.
   So, be brave, but not stupid. If the moment is not quite right, maybe you need a little more time before you can explain this question to people, "What is mental illness like?" If you can have the fortitude, and can answer this, you are ready to be confident about being open about your mental illness.
   Stigma, well, eventually will wane. Your mental illness is not going to go away, but clear out the cobwebs of ignorance and give education to those whom want to listen. You might surprise yourself at how freeing being open can be. The first step is always a doozy. 
    
Remember the Vocabulary ABC's

If you find this blog more helpful than first thought, please share.

For young adults, I have on the side bar blogs resources that can help you find services that you might not have known you are eligible for. It is not a crime to accept help. It is your necessary due.   
For young adults (or parents of young adults)

 

Where will this take us, if we can all agree?

How can we make this happen? Are we grown at 18? NOOOO!!!
So, why is it that we get kicked out, join the military, and are undersuccessful? 

Because!!! We have been set up for failure!!! We are not fully grown at 18, and you expect me to be adult about it? WHY?

Tired of high apartment prices? Think you can't leave your parents' home? Here is a link I would
like to include on this post as an addendumn. I have a new link on the side bar under blogs, it is

Affordable Housing List for San Diego

I hope you find the housing list informative and helpful.


 Vocabulary used in Mental Health


I have a dream... I have a dream that one day mental illness will be understood... be treated... be cured....
I have a dream that one day the age of a minor will be raised to the age of 21 with two more years of high school added on (pre-K to grade 14) I have a dream that one day when someone hears their diagnosis of mental illness, they will survive (many commit suicide when given a diagnosis of mental illness, because they see their future demolished) I have a dream that one day, the military will see that it takes a man to fight a man, not a boy to fight a man... I have a dream that one day the experts will agree to raise the age of a minor, because children at 18 are still yet to be grown... their brains are still growing... I have a dream that this plight will be mentioned in the history books. Share this if you agree. I found out that it takes about 700,000 signatures to get something on the ballot. That means that there have to be 700,000 registered voters that have signed the petition. It takes about 3X that much to practically guarantee the 700,000 signatures. 

Please share this if you are for raising the age of a minor to benefit future mental health. Thank you for your considerations.

and thank you for allowing me to dream.... thank you MLK

 I dream for everyone to have the college experience:
How to have college pay for itself

My Reasonable Self

Here are a few words that I think you might enjoy:

Philosophy is part of an art of discovering true reason,
with the ability to know, recognize, and prove reality
without getting spiritual about it.

One cannot appreciate sanity, if one has not
survived insanity.

We just know what is, not why or how it is.

We are all related, if we are all GOD's children.
Therefore, I am related to GOD.
(Therefore, you are related to GOD too).

Your Universe might not be my Universe, yet
we co-exist in reality, if not on different planes
of awareness.

The ignorance of my reason,
contrasts with
my wisdom of knowledge.

I say to the Crusaders, we are already in Heaven.
What is down a two lane highway? A GOLD stripe.
What is painted on a highway carpool lane? Diamonds.
Why does it have to be the literal interpretation?
If Heaven is paved with gold and diamonds, I say
we are already in Heaven; and I don't have a wish,
wanting to go to Heaven, because we are already in
Heaven.